ラップにわかでもリリック書いてみるのあり？ YouTube動画>1本 ->画像>1枚

自分はHIPHOP(ラップ)にハマって1年くらいでまだまだ知識も浅いにわかなんですけど、自分もやってみたくなって作ってみたんですけどさすがに調子乗りすぎですかね？？こんな感じです
ダウンロード＆関連動画＞＞

>>1
頑張って

>>1
1分15秒くらいからの早口の語りはいらない
しょーもないポップスシンガーが尺埋めでやる程度の誰でも出来る喋りはいらない
ラッパーなら毎秒フロウしろ
あと発声が小さい
ラップも全体的にフロウしてない
声もトラックも小さいんだよな
マスタリングの知識もつけていけ

hiphop聞いて20年超えた俺の正直な感想
まあ今からだ頑張れ

ﾜﾛﾀ

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何歳？

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>>3
ありがとうございます！

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リリック書いてるんだけど毎度ダサくて嫌になる
良くなってんのかな

>>10
ぜひ聞かせてください！

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にわかだろうがなんだろうが出来が格好良ければそれでいいってのが「音楽」なんだが
がんばれー

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>>1
ミキシングしてみたよ
https://dotup.org/uploda/dotup.org1844484.mp3_Edy0rbnfPUqrrZAJWBCv/dotup.org1844484.mp3

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>>15
ありがとうございます！

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>>17

【悲報】日本人さん、マスコミに簡単に洗脳される(笑)
壱、日本人の精神を腐敗・堕落させ愚民化させろ!
弐、日本人の女を集中的に狙い洗脳しろ!
参、ネトウヨ、ヘイトスピーチ等の言葉を浸透させ、同胞への批判を封じろ.
肆、「同性婚・LGBTを全面肯定しない者は差別主義者だ！」という雰囲気を作れ
伍、中身のないアニメを流行らせ、クールジャパンをオワコン化させろ.
陸、「未だにガラケーの奴は笑い者」という雰囲気を作れ！
漆、「日本人の男VS日本人の女」の対立を煽り、分断しろ!
捌、日本人同士で恋愛・結婚させない、子供を生ませないよう誘導しろ.
玖、日本同士で結婚していたら離婚させる方向に仕向けろ
拾、海外セレブやハーフモデルをもてはやし、「日本人は劣等人種だ！」と植えつけろ。
拾壱、イケメンブームを定着化させ、「男は外見が全てだ！」と洗脳しろ.
ー ソース ー
電通グループ会長 成田豊は朝鮮半島生まれ
http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/成田豊